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Thread: Best 10 jokes... to keep you smiling!

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    Super Moderator Catherine's Avatar
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    Default Best 10 jokes... to keep you smiling!

    Top ten best jokes judged at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe were;

    1) Tim Vine - "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

    2) David Gibson - "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."

    3) Emo Philips - "I picked up a hitchhiker. You've got to when you hit them."

    4) Jack Whitehall - "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."

    5) Gary Delaney - "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."

    6) John Bishop - "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."

    7) Bo Burnham - "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

    8) Gary Delaney - "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

    9) Robert White - "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: empty."

    10) Gareth Richards - "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food, or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…"

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    Regular Member Alepou's Avatar
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    LOL LOL LOL LOL My favorite is No. 3) LOL LOL

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    Administrator rolf's Avatar
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    Some nice ones there. You can't beat one liners.
    Rolf

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    Slightly Mad Moderator ladylouise62's Avatar
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    They are never as good when just read, though - delivery is everything. Carin's favourite, no. 3 is by Emo Phillips and his delivery is very unique. I always loved him, but he's been missing here for a few years... nice to see that he is back. Here's classic Emo from the mid eighties

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    Regular Member Alepou's Avatar
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    LOL LOL LOL LOL In particular the last part is hilarious!

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    Slightly Mad Moderator ladylouise62's Avatar
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    LOL - I love that bit too

    I think he is an acquired taste, but I was always quite taken by him - I think because he was so different.

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