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Thread: A few interesting lines

  1. #1
    Administrator rolf's Avatar
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    Default A few interesting lines

    A few interesting lines. I take no credit for any of them.

    My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    I thought I'd found Miss Right, didn't realise her first name was Always.

    I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

    Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

    Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    Procrastinate Now!

    I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

    Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

    A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

    Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    The trouble with life is there's no background music.

    The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

    I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on

    Rolf

  2. #2
    Founder Member Chocky's Avatar
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    Default

    Very good.some very good laughs there Rolf

  3. #3
    Slightly Mad Moderator ladylouise62's Avatar
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    Default

    " The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

  4. #4
    Merlin
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    Default

    Think you may have started something here Rolf. I have a list (all mine) as long as your arm most of which I wouldn't dare put on here but I picked this one out at random......

    There's just one thing wrong with some people......they breath.

    Pete.

  5. #5
    Founder Member Chocky's Avatar
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    Nikon D7200 Camera. Nikon 55-300mm VR F4.5-5.6G ED AF-S DX NIKKOR SWM WAF-5 DX Micro Nikkor 40mmf/2.8G SWM DX swm ED af aspherical 18-55 With wide angle converter Nikon Coolpix S5100 Sony HandycamDCR-SR58 Hama tripod Canon Pixma iP7250 PixmaMG5500

    Default

    You should see some of the lines my sons send me.They forget their mother is a lady.
    Not fit for a website

  6. #6
    Merlin
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    If you REALLY want to offend someone who is getting on your nerve Beryl, why not try......

    Why don't you give it a break sometime......preferably your neck.

    Pete.

  7. #7
    Founder Member Chocky's Avatar
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    Nikon D7200 Camera. Nikon 55-300mm VR F4.5-5.6G ED AF-S DX NIKKOR SWM WAF-5 DX Micro Nikkor 40mmf/2.8G SWM DX swm ED af aspherical 18-55 With wide angle converter Nikon Coolpix S5100 Sony HandycamDCR-SR58 Hama tripod Canon Pixma iP7250 PixmaMG5500

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    I wouldn't want to offend any one
    Gosh

  8. #8
    Merlin
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    Whoooops!

    All good fun Beryl and certainly not to be taken serious.

    Pete.

  9. #9
    Founder Member Chocky's Avatar
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    Nikon D7200 Camera. Nikon 55-300mm VR F4.5-5.6G ED AF-S DX NIKKOR SWM WAF-5 DX Micro Nikkor 40mmf/2.8G SWM DX swm ED af aspherical 18-55 With wide angle converter Nikon Coolpix S5100 Sony HandycamDCR-SR58 Hama tripod Canon Pixma iP7250 PixmaMG5500

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    I know.
    Have you seen the thread Important notice

  10. #10
    Founder Member Chocky's Avatar
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    Nikon D7200 Camera. Nikon 55-300mm VR F4.5-5.6G ED AF-S DX NIKKOR SWM WAF-5 DX Micro Nikkor 40mmf/2.8G SWM DX swm ED af aspherical 18-55 With wide angle converter Nikon Coolpix S5100 Sony HandycamDCR-SR58 Hama tripod Canon Pixma iP7250 PixmaMG5500

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    How about this? It does wonders for me


    Spell Checker Poem

    Eye have a spelling chequer
    It came with my pea sea
    It plainly marques four my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it two say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.

    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    It's rare lea ever wrong.

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